Are sex machines really worth it?
Yes! And yes again! From powerful thrusting to endless vibrating options, sex machines offer the best of the best in terms of a realistic sexual experience with something other than a real person.
As part of this guide I cover some of the better smaller machines (which I also cover in more detail in the thrusting vibrators guide), and also the premium machines that provide the best experience around.
From sex machines you lay back and let do all the work, to machines like the cowgirl which are remote controlled and require riding, there really is something for everyone here. Let’s get into the top ten selections.
This sex chair is a pretty awesome piece of kit. Powered by the movement of your own body through the intelligent use of kinetics, there’s no need to worry about any electric or motors breaking.
With a selection of knobs and controls, you can control the level of penetration, then settle in for potentially the ride of your life. It comes with a 7 inch dildo, but it also has both universal and vac-u-lock adaptors, meaning you can put any dildo from your collection on it and experience its power in a whole new way.
Simply lube up and jump on, the only issue is you won’t want to get off!
This electric sex machine may look a little extraterrestrial, but the fun it delivers is certainly out of this world.
With infinitely variable speed options, and an adjustable angle from 0-85 degrees, offering enough variation for almost limitless positions. It’s powerful but also pretty silent, with a sound output of only 40 decibels.
The machine only weighs 3.5kg, making it easier than some of the bigger options reviewed here to move from place to place. Lube up, hop on, and explore the options this thing can offer, you won’t look back.
This ultra portable sex machine is ideal for those looking at a more travel friendly option. It warms up to 40 degrees so that you’re never shocked by an unpleasantly cold entrance, especially nice in the depths of a cold winter. The remote control means it can be totally hands free, either operated alone or with your partner to add some bedroom variation!
As well as back and forth movement, the machine can vibrate, and the fact that it’s rechargeable means no awkward cables getting in the way.
This vibrating sex machine is another stellar option for the robotically inclined. It’s easy to set up and offers remote speed and function control, for hands free use.
It comes with a vibrating egg, which can be used in conjunction to provide direct clitoral stimulation, for that little extra pleasure. The frame is adjustable and can be moved to multiple different angles, for sure providing a fit that suits you perfectly.
The four suction cups on the base mean you can attach it to any smooth surface, a safe and simple way to set it up which offers quick and easy removal and storage!
This really is the ferrari of rideable sex toys. With both remote and app controllability, you can control it from up to 30 meters away!
The saddle can rotate 360 degrees, for a wild wild ride, and the vibrations head all the way up to 1200 RPM of strong vibrations. It comes with two different attachments, allowing for quite a bit of personalisation, both options offering intense clitoral and G-spot stimulation!
Home will always be where the heart is with this thing in your bedroom, if you’re looking for the ultimate long lasting treat, seriously consider giving this sex machine a go. You can also see my full review of this machine for more information.
This sex machine gives a lot of angle variability, from -5 to 80 degrees! It weighs just 3kg, making it pretty easy to move about. It’s still quite big though, so you won’t be popping it in a suitcase for a weekend away.
The four suction cups give quick and easy fastening, and it comes in either black or red color schemes. A great affordable option for anyone looking for a serious sex machine with power and sophistication!
This represents a far more budget friendly option than some of the other options on the list, making it ideal for those a little less fully committed to the sex machine life, or simply those with a bit less to spend! It has 3 different speeds and 7 vibration patterns, offering enough variability for most of us, and has a built-in USB rechargeable battery, for heaps and heaps of fun.
The dildo itself is big, but doesn’t have to be inserted the whole length if you don’t fancy it, offering lots of variation. The design is simple and slick, and offers great value for money!
This sex machine combines portability with a thoroughly designed and versatile sex machine. The bag it easily folds into is discreet, meaning no one will know what’s hidden inside, a perfect travel companion. It has 3 different vibration modes and 3 different speeds, with adjustable angles as well.
The dimensions are 34 x 24 x 14cm, so it’s pretty compact; if you travel a lot and want a serious bit of self play kit, this might be a perfect choice for you!
This handmade sex machine vibrator is another great midrange option. It offers angle adjustability from 0 to 85 degrees, with 6cm of reciprocating movement.
The speed is adjustable, and the relatively small size when folded up makes it a good choice for the space conscious. The dildo attachment is 17cm by 3.2cm, a good intermediate size, quite appropriate for beginners and experts alike!
This last sex machine is quite something. The ABS frame is solid, and will take a lot of solid usage. It’s powerful, but also very quiet, operation at about 50 to 60 decibels, meaning you can use it in a shared house without worrying about disturbing house mates.
The angles are almost endless, and the 7 inch dildo provided will offer heaps of fun for all those who choose to participate. The positioning of 4 suction cups on the base means that it can be attached with ease to any flat surfaces for stable and safe fun!
How to use
There’s a fair bit of variation between the design and intended use of these sex toys reviewed above, so it’s a little hard to give a one size fits all set of guidelines, but there are some things which are universal.
These machines are quite powerful, some more so than others, so to ensure a comfortable experience it’s imperative that sufficient lubrication is used.
If the dildos are silicone, then a water based lubricant is most appropriate, as silicone based lubes can lead to dildo deterioration. Always check with the guide provided to ensure safe set up and usage!
Prices
The options reviewed offer an extremely wide variety of price ranges, from the quite affordable, to the small car priced.
There’s something for everyone, it just depends what you’re looking for and what resources you have. If you have a lot of space and money, you can go for larger, more expensive options such as number 1, but if you’re more budget and space conscious, and want a slightly more travel friendly option, number 3 might be more appropriate for your needs! Have a browse, and I’m sure there’ll be something that suits you.
Cleaning
Of course it’s important to regularly clean sex toys, but with some of these options you have to be a little careful.
Most of them are electric, and not all of the electric ones are waterproof, meaning you can’t just chuck them in the bath and hose them down. Use antibacterial wipes on the insertable parts, and give them a good rub down. Again, check with manufacturer notes to see what products might be damaging, you don’t want to make a potentially very expensive mistake.
Storage
One of the bigger issues with these toys is potentially storage. The larger ones are big and heavy, and can’t just be chucked in a bedside drawer – really, they require at least a corner of a room in which they can sit and be used in the long term.
If you’re in a house share and don’t want to give up too much space, go for a smaller option, like number 3 or 7. Ultimately, it comes down to what you prioritise, spare space or an excellent rideable sex toy! Once you decide which you need more, then you can make a decision.
Recommended For
As stated in the title, these toys are most appropriate for women. They may work on men as well, but that often isn’t their intention. As for which women, pretty much anyone will find an option that gets them going!
Most offer internal stimulation, but even if you’re not such a fan of penetration, number 5 offers incredible external and shallow internal pleasure! These probably won’t be your first sex toys, as they’re quite a commitment, so you’ll likely know a bit about what turns you on already.
As a lot of these machines are pretty big, make sure to check the returns policy, it might not be quite as simple as with a small dildo.
