Whether you’ve used one before or not, you’re bound to know what a BDSM collar is. Often referred to as a slave collar or a choker, the collar is very commonly used as a sign of submission, and utilised in role play as part of BDSM (hence the immediate connotations).
In this guide I cover some of my absolute favourites, from the ones I tried when first getting into exploring my submissive side, to those I’ve branched-out into that come completed with floggers and restraints.
Are there different types of BDSM collars?
You might be surprised at the number of different collars out there, and just how drastically they change based on their purpose. Some example include:
- Day Collars – These are often more fashionable and less geared towards dominance or submission. They’re often thinner and a little more discreet too, and a t a glance may look like a slightly thicker necklace
- Slave Collars – The type you may already be familiar with. Slave collars are commonly made from a thick material such as leather, and come equipped with hooks or buttons for the addition of a leash (or another form of restraint)
- Chokers & Collars – Very commonly used as part of pet play (e.g. role playing like a dog), collars in particular are often sold with an O ring that allows for attaching a sturdy leash, and many pet play lovers also get a custom tag for all to see
- Posture Collar – Another thick collar commonly made from leather, a posture collar is used for complete submission by controlling and restricting both neck and back movement. These are often used with cages and BDSM furniture for long stays…
- Shock Collar – Again, very common with animal play, and works the same way that an animal shock collar would. Instead of getting flogged, you get shocked (or you get both if you’re lucky!)
If I buy a collar, does that make me a submissive person?
Generally it would be assumed so, but just purchasing one doesn’t make you a submissive person. Many people buy collars for purely how they look, and then explore the BDSM side of what a collar means when they discover what they’re commonly used for.
What should I look for when shopping for a BDSM collar?
I cover this in the following ten collars and in the beginners guide at the bottom, but I can’t stress enough that you need to buy from a reputable seller who only stocks collars that are of the upmost quality. Anything used for submission or restriction cannot be purchased cheaply, and safety is of the upmost importance.
My Ten Favourite BDSM, Slave & Submission Collars
Real leather is sometimes just the perfect material, and that’s the case with this soft leather collar. Leather, if kept well, only gets more supple with age, perfect for something that will be worn around your delicate neck for extended periods of time.
The collar is adjusted using a 12 hole buckle, perfect for necks from 13.75 to 18.75 inches in size. The metal D-ring is strong, and offers compatibility with pretty much any other toys you want to attach to it. If you’re looking for a timeless collar design, you may have found your perfect option.
This leather collar adds extra comfort, for the more sensitive BDSM enthusiasts among us. With extra padding, you can really get rough with this thing without causing any damage – perfect for long, hard sessions. With a 12 hole buckle fastening, it will fit necks with a circumference between 12.5 and 18 inches – ideal for pretty much every BDSM enthusiast out there.
The D-ring offers connection with other bondage equipment, whether from the DOMINIX range or not! It really looks the part, and wouldn’t look entirely out of place worn out and about, if you’re confident in your styling!
Sometimes, you just don’t want to take your collar off, and with this lovely piece – you never have to! Velvet lined for all day comfort, it’s small and light enough to look scarcely larger than a choker, but not everyone will be fooled – the O-ring offers leash or cuff compatibility!
It isn’t the most robust of collars, and the fact that it’s quite narrow means you can’t go for hefty sessions while wearing it, but that’s not really the point of it. It’s fun, and works as a fashion statement as well as a practical piece of BDSM gear!
If you’re looking for a seriously heavy duty collar, this might be just the ticket. Made from leather, the collar is thickly padded, and at 2.75 inches deep, spreads the load well to ensure that you don’t injure your neck.
It has 3 different D-rings to secure whatever attachments you want to, a lot more versatile than some collars! The 10 hole buckle offers adjustability up to 18 inches, suitable for both men and women.
While leather may be a preferable material for many people, it is by no means the exclusive material for bondage gear, and faux leather does have certain benefits over it. Leather ages wonderfully when cared for, but if it’s mistreated, it can be awful quite quickly. If you want something that needs less worrying about, this collar might suit you very well! The buckle options offer adjustability between 14 and 18.5 inches, and it comes with a 38 inch lead with a rotating easy to release clip.
The simple leather collar of your dreams, less is certainly more with this piece of kit. The collar itself is made of a single, thick band of durable leather, and there’s a single, large O-ring at the front to attach your favourite BDSM gear to. The buckle fastening has 12 holes, allowing for adjustment between 13.25 and 18.5 inches in circumference.
The clear cut aesthetic means that this collar doesn’t have to be kept to the bedroom, wear it as a bold fashion statement wherever you go! It also comes with a 6 frond leather flogger to add to your collection.
Leather, faux or real, is certainly nice, but sometimes we just need that slightly softer touch. This lace collar provides just that, with incredible comfort provided by the faux fur lining, you’ll feel like there’s a cloud tenderly embracing your neck.
The 5 hole buckle gives adjustment between 13.5 and 16.5 inches, and it comes with a detachable 42 inch leash with a quick release clip. If you find your neck gets easily aggravated or bruised by hard leather collars, this will make a great solution, and allow all sorts of fun to be had.
No matter who you are and what you’re doing, anything that glows in the dark is going to add excitement to your life. This faux leather collar does just that – it glows in the dark, adding a little light to your sex life, whether you knew you needed it or not.
The collar itself has 7 buckle holes, and at 20.5 inches in length, should fit round most necks. It comes with a 35.5 inch lead, which secures to the D-ring, offering optimum control.
Some people just can’t get enough denim in their lives, and with this collar, you can get just a little bit more. It fastens using 4 sets of poppers, which give adjustability between 4.3 and 5.5 inches in diameter.
The poppers may not be the most secure, meaning it’s not entirely suited to rough sessions, but they do offer a great introduction to bondage for those who want something that can release both quickly and easily. It comes with a 42.5 inch lead, with a secure handle for great control of your sub.
Last but not least, we have this wonderful soft collar, ideal for beginners and experts alike. The collar connects with velcro, giving precise adjustability with easy removal, should the wearer need. It comes with a 40 inch detachable lead, with a quick release clip that connects to the versatile D-ring.
The comfort it provides also allows for heavier sessions, as it won’t dig in and cause injury in the same way a leather option might! At under 20 dollars, you really can’t go wrong – whether you’re just getting into bondage or want a comfier option to add to your collection, give this one a go!
How to use a bondage collar for beginners
BDSM collars are incredibly versatile, and can be incorporated in any number of sex games. The simplest way that control can be asserted using a collar is by attaching a lead – like this, the dom can lead the sub wherever they please, controlling their pet with ease. Collars can also be attached to hand and ankle cuffs, or even restrained to beds or other frames!
They’re generally safe when used properly, but obviously, when attaching something round someone’s neck, you have to be careful – don’t over tighten, and keep an eye on your sub to check they’re always ok.
Prices
Collars are generally pretty affordable – after all, they’re simple, and don’t require a lot of material to make. You don’t want to cheap out on them though – the neck is a sensitive area, so you want something well made and comfortable, with a strong but reliable fastening mechanism.
Beyond that, the choice is up to you – real leather tends to be more expensive, while synthetic materials are obviously cheaper. See what you find the most comfortable and aesthetically pleasing, then go with that!
Cleaning
BDSM collars are less important to keep clean than some sex toys, but if you want them to last, you still want to care for them. Leather needs caring for – if sweat and skin are left on it, within a year or so it can become ruined, just think of manky old watch straps! Check the manufacturer instructions for care very carefully, and follow the instructions well.
Synthetic collars are often easier to clean, some can simply be thrown in the washing machine, but again, check the manufacturer’s instructions and see what they advise.
Storage
As collars don’t have to be kept in a sanitary setting to the same extent than, for examples penetrative sex toys should be, storage can be quite relaxed. Make sure they’re not kept in a damp environment so they don’t rot or spoil, but beyond that, it’s up to you. You might have a bondage drawer, or a BDSM box, whatever you use, take pride in it and your collection and watch it grow!
Recommended for
Collars are quite good introductory play pieces to the BDSM world, and hence they provide good fun for pretty much anyone. If you’re just getting into the whole world of doms and subs, pick one out and get it – they’re incredibly versatile, and open so much room for sexual creativity. You can even just wear it during sex while you get used to it – the feeling of constriction around your neck could be enough alone to get you going.
There’s no right or wrong way to have fun with them, but there are unsafe ways. Always have a safeword, and keep an open dialogue with your partner about what you feel comfortable with.
