Ultimate Beginners Guide To Fisting (& Top 10 Dildos)

Here’s everything you need to know about fisting in this ultimate guide!

What exactly is fisting?  

Fisting essentially involves pushing your hand into someone else, with the intention of providing sexual stimulation. It can involve either penetrating someone anally or vaginally, although this article focuses more on anal fisting.

The name is however potentially misleading; if you were to attempt to insert your hand into either someone’s vagina or their anus in a normal fist shape, the result would most probably be painful and quite unsuccessful. 

Instead of clenching your hand up, you want to aim to make it as ‘insertable’ as possible – imagine you’re reaching into a pringle packet, you want to have your fingers and thumb all pointing forward, with your fingers curled around your thumb to make them as sleek as can be. As you can probably tell, through the use of your imagination trying to picture a hand in either the anus or the vagina, it’s a pretty big undertaking. 

When fisting, you don’t want to just try to put your hand up there – that shouldn’t be your sole definition of success, the body isn’t a puppet and you’re not some weird puppet master.

Of course, fisting can also be an act of dominance, in which the goals do change somewhat! Rather, a significant marker of success should be if you’re able to pleasure your partner – if you’re managing to achieve that goal, and you can barely get past the knuckles, that’s definitely a successful attempt at fisting! 

Is fisting dangerous?

Fisting can be dangerous, for two primary reasons – infection and just the sheer size of a hand! The most important thing to make certain is that the hand to be used is totally clean. Before you wash your hands, you’ll want to attend to your nails. You don’t want any sharp edges, nor anything even slightly too long.

Consider it an excuse for a manicure – get your file out, and make them just perfect. Don’t even think about trying it if you have acrylics on – it doesn’t matter how expensive they were, either get rid of them now or wait until they’re gone!  

Next, make sure you wash them thoroughly with plenty of soap and warm water, you don’t want a speck of dirt anywhere! Take off any rings or watches you might have on, anything that could possibly snag or cause discomfort.

Even when your hand is completely clean, a lot of people recommend wearing latex gloves, or ideally, a latex mitten. Even if you’ve washed your hands thoroughly, there’s still a chance that there’s some bacteria left behind – gloves just make it slightly safer and more sanitary. 

In order to get the best out of the experience, and limit the danger of tears and severe discomfort, it’s a good idea to use a lot of lubricant. Remember that if you’re using latex gloves, you mustn’t use an oil-based lube – lather on a good quality water-based lube and you should be just fine.

Why is fisting enjoyable?

When it’s done properly with an appropriate warm up, fisting can be incredibly pleasurable.

Psychologically, it’s an intense experience, which will elicit intense emotions; the control aspect is, for some people, just divine, and the way that it brings you closer can hardly be described. You’ve literally trusted someone to put their hand inside of your body, there’s not a whole lot more you can do to show you’re safe around someone! 

An orgasm from fisting is absolutely incredible. Whether vaginal or anal, the muscles will tense and contract, fixing the hand where it is until the waves of pleasure slow and stop. Hands are large and complex shapes, and as a result, their ability to stimulate nerve endings is second to none.

As you start to explore with it, you’ll find more and more effective ways and techniques of causing pleasure, until you’re an absolute master. Once you’ve gotten the hang of it, you’ll never go back – it really is that incredible! 

That element of trust and respect is essential for a successful fisting experience. You need to know with absolute certainty that if you’re in too much pain, which is a possibility, the person with their hand inside you will take notice and gently exit. Communication here is, as always, absolutely key. 

Is it suitable for beginners?

Fisting can be attempted by anyone, beginners included, as long as you keep the following in mind: don’t rush the process, or you might spoil it for the future.

If you’re relatively new to inserting larger sex toys into your anus or vagina, a hand will be a significant step up, and in this case, it won’t be that you can run before you can walk. Take things slowly, working your way up from two fingers to three, then three to four, never going too far into the pain zone. 

Fisting really can be amazing, but if you rush it and both have a bad experience, you could potentially ruin it for both of you, and end up not wanting to try it again in the future.

It really is important to follow all the advice given, in this article and others, and to remember that it will likely take multiple sessions before you manage complete insertion. After all, it should be a journey that you enjoy – where would the fun be if you arrived at your destination in the first hour?

The journey of learning to fist will involve both of you getting to know your bodies, including their limitations, to an incredible degree. It’s both literally and metaphorically a journey inward, so expect the unexpected to happen, and enjoy every step along the way. As always, your sexual wellbeing is of the utmost priority, so listen to one another, and take care!

Do you need gloves or any additional toys for fisting?

While gloves aren’t absolutely necessary, they do make things a bit safer. As mentioned above, even if you’ve washed your hands thoroughly, there’s still a slim chance that there’s something you didn’t quite manage to get off, while if you put on a fresh set of gloves, you know for a fact that they’re clean. I

f you do however really fancy going natural, that is of course an option! Just be aware of the risks, and make sure that you take extra care with your nails, as any scratches will be highly unpleasant.

 As far as toys go, there are a fair few that can make the experience more interesting, safe, and enjoyable. We go into these in more detail in the review below, but from specifically designed, extra durable fisting gloves to fisting dildos, there’s a lot to explore. Some of these toys aren’t necessary, but can certainly make the fisting journey more pleasurable! After all, who doesn’t like expanding their sex toy selection? 

 Appropriate lube choice is also important. If you’re sensitive, it may be best to go with a water based one, but you also might want to consider some silicone based long lasting lubes. Fisting sessions can be long and heavy going, so you want to make sure that your lube is up to the job! 

How to stretch your anus slowly if you want to try fisting

One of the most important things to do to ensure you have a positive fisting experience is take your time. While your ass will eventually stretch to accommodate a hand, it won’t happen in minutes, and there are a number of tips to help and steps to carry out to make sure that things go smoothly.

If done correctly, it can be both safe and pleasurable – and don’t be worried about becoming ‘loose’ – that’s a myth, the tissue is incredibly elastic, and will contract right away back to its original tight size when you’re done putting things up there!

With stretching your ass, there are a number of toys that can make the process more enjoyable. One of the most common ways of doing it is using a series of butt plugs, each slightly larger than the last.

This way you can explore with stretching your ass at your own speed, and keep an easy record of how far you’ve progressed.

You can leave each size in for a little while, until you’re comfortable with it, then move up to the next one! Make sure you pick one with a flared base, as that will ensure it doesn’t get sucked up, avoiding any awkward medical emergencies. 

You’ll also want to use a lot of lubricant. We’ve said it once but will say it again: it really can’t be stressed how important it is that you have a few durable lube options – stretching your ass can be heavy business, and you need a lube that can handle it!

There are heaps of options, so explore and see which works best for you – you can never really have too many different types of lube.

Some people even opt for homemade lube, but for this I’d recommend specific lubes for anal fisting just to be sure that you’re getting the exact kind that you need. Pro tip; many fisting lubes also provide a numbing sensation which can be extra helpful for beginners.